Learning To Let Go Of Toxic People

  Throughout high school, I surrounded myself with plenty of people that I considered "close friends". I look back on those times, now, and think about all of the moments where I wished I was at home, snuggled-up in my bed, away from said people. I think about the times where I was out with a group of those "close friends" and remember when I still felt so alone. I remember when I used to text eight to ten people at a time just to make myself feel like I wasn't lonely on the inside, only making the hole inside of my heart much deeper and wider.
  Today, at (almost) twenty-two, I have a handful of friends that I talk to on the regular. They're real people that make me feel loved, appreciated, thought-of, and taken-care-of. I love them. They're my people. They're my circle. They're like family to me, and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they would do anything for me, and I, the same. However, while it's true that I've traded my larger crowds of acquaintances for a smaller, closer circle of true friends, I still only trust an even smaller circle of two people with the real me.
  I believe it's always better to have a handful of great, true friends than it is to have a sea full of acquaintances. I feel like I've read that on those typical, relatable Facebook posts before, but it's so incredibly true.
  You should always feel like you don't need to wear a filter of yourself when you're around the people that you spend the most time with. I dare you to stop and think about your friends right in this moment-- do you do that while you're with them? Do you water yourself down to stay on their level? On the other side of the token: do you ever feel like you have to hype yourself up to hang out with your friends? Do you have to present a version of yourself that you're not actually feeling like in that moment in order to feel accepted by the group of people that you're choosing to spend time with? Have you ever felt the feeling of exhaustion once you've finally peeled yourself away from a certain "friend"? Why on Earth would you want to spend so much of your energy on people who make you feel this way? (Sorry, this paragraph contained a whole bunch of rhetorical questions, but I felt as if they were important to be asked of you.)
  Your friend group should always be accepting of you and whatever true energy that you bring to the table. You should never have to feel like you are required to match yourself to what someone else is feeling. If you feel like that inside of your circle at this time, then it's likely in your best interest to distance yourself from that group of people-- I'm sorry, (not sorry).
  Listen: when you feel like you have to put your real self on halt to present a false version of who you are to the person you decide to spend your energy on, you're not helping yourself in any way, I promise. You're stopping yourself dead in your tracks from developing, growing, and simply becoming the truest version of yourself. Give your soul room to breathe. It's almost more-so worth it to simply stay alone than it is to be around people that exhaust you and the spirit inside of you.

(photo taken in kilmarnock, virginia)

kati