quitting can sometimes be a sign of anxiety

  I am notorious for putting high amounts of pressure on myself. Whenever this time of year rolls around, with the brand new year just around the corner, you can imagine that the self-pressure is on full-blast.
  Even though I'm aware that most people roll their eyes around the idea of setting resolutions, I feel like there's a healthy amount of well-meaning soul-searching lying within the simplicity of setting goals for yourself; when you break it down, at the very core of our new year's resolutions, we're simply acknowledging that we notice something lacking in our lives, we self-evaluate for a certain amount of time, and finally, we come to a goal-oriented solution in-order to get where we'd like to be in the future.

  I think what ultimately elicits an annoyed reaction towards resolutions is simply this: people, at the end of the day, truly are so disappointing. That may sound harsh, but is it not true? We go out of our ways to buy our fancy calendars, new notebooks, workout plans, etc. but once a few weeks go by, (to be fair, maybe even a few months), we stop.

  When it comes to a reason why we stop, all I can think about when I look for the reasons in why I, personally, never seem to fulfill my own New Year goals.. it's simply because I don't see gratification or success as quickly as I was hoping to find when I originally set these plans in-place. If I had kept going, I likely would have met the goals that I was hoping to accomplish. Isn't it crazy that the only person stopping you from completing any self-made goals.. is yourself? How ironic.

  I believe, heavily, that fear can and will associate itself with the element of change for most people; at least, I know that's how I feel most of the time. I'm all gung-ho at first when I set personal goals into place, I put in the work, I try really hard, and then one day.. after allowing my anxiety to feed me lies, I just cease.

 I've discovered, in some cases, quitting can point to more than just being lazy. Being perceived as lazy was and still is one of my biggest fears. There's nothing I'd hate more than for someone to think that I had no drive or self-motivation to better my life. I'm sure that I'm not alone in this.

  The saddest part about quitting things due to anxiety, is that you could be the most driven, motivated, and inspired person out there, and you can still throw in the towel. It's so incredibly defeating to consistently argue with yourself over the idea of giving up, until one day, you can't take this battle with your brain anymore.

  Being successful, at least for those who struggle with mental illness(es), most of the time, can look a lot like telling yourself over and over again that you are capable and that you will accomplish what ever it is that you're setting your mind to. 

  If this is how you're feeling at this point in your life, right now, I can promise you that you're not

alone. I, too, struggle heavily with the fear of not being good enough, not meeting expectations, and allowing the fear of failure to creep into my mind.

  One of the best life philosophies that I've learned along the way is to never quit. If you find something worth your time and effort, do not quit. If you ever feel the need to quit, just take a much-needed break.. but don't stop entirely. Taking a break can give you time to self-evaluate, but you're not completely committing to throwing in the towel. Work hard, stop and have a moment of reflection, and then get back to work. This has helped me tremendously.

  I hope that your New Year will be filled with challenges that mold you into a healthier, happier,

stronger version of yourself. Let's kick 2020 in the hiney. *insert smiley face*

  kati