A Baby on the Way & Thoughts - My Return to Blogging & Life Update

     I'm not sure why writing this blog post is so hard. I think it's because it's been so long since I've updated my blog that I'm almost embarrassed by myself being back online and in the blogging world. This is me entering back into it, though, after a long break. I've missed it. I'm glad to be back.

    There's been a lot on my mind, lately. A lot on my brain that centers around the ideas of 'what do I want to do with my life', 'what do I want to be remembered for when I die', and/or 'in what ways can I change-up my life to make my day-to-day reflect what I really want out of life?'; questions like that.

   

    It was a regular Monday on March 23rd of this year when Joey and I came home after a long day of walking around in the woods and exploring on my parents' property near Dividing Creek in the Northern Neck of Virginia. We'd been metal detecting all afternoon, hoping to find some cool relics or maybe some old coins from those that used to inhabit that old plantation land. Sadly, we were only able to find some rusty, old nails and not much else worth noting. Again, a very mundane, regular day off work-- nothing unusual.

    One thing I'll never forget from that day was a strangely instinctual physical reaction I had to rub my tummy. I had no reason to. I just felt that strangely maternal instinct to do it; can't explain it. I think I remember doing that exact thing twice throughout our visit to my parents' house.

    I'd recently ordered a massive box of fifty-five three-inch pregnancy tests from Amazon for the coming year. I anticipated that Joey and I might have difficulties in getting pregnant, due to past doctor visits I'd had telling me such, so this is why I'd ordered so many. Ironically, though, (as if the Universe herself was laughing at me), I'd only need one. However, I took seven... yep, seven.

    After the first test, I'll never forget frantically calling Joey into the bathroom with me to stare at this mysterious, life-altering pee stick. Four more three-inch tests took place and I still couldn't believe it. "Joey, drive us to the store. I need to get a digital pack-- these are faulty." "Kati, we're pregnant." "Yeah, okay. Take me to the store." "Kati, we are pregnant." "Joey, if you don't take me to the store, I'm leaving without you and I'm going up there myself." We drove to the store. I peed on the digital test. "Yes +", it read. The next morning, I peed on another. Two lines.

    I didn't believe I was actually pregnant until I saw that little hummingbird flicker of a heartbeat light-up on the Ultrasound screen. I will never forget that moment. I remember sitting in the waiting room in-between appointments, holding those pictures of my little embryo and my hands shaking. I was pregnant. Joey and I were going to be parents. Holy shit.

    My life has been a whirlwind of baby showers, baby registries, baby-this, baby-that since that day. My life changed from the millisecond I saw that second pink line. I will never forget it. I was shocked at first, but let me tell you, I was and am so excited. Once the initial shock wore-off and things became a little bit more mentally and emotionally digestible as time went on, I became more and more excited. I feel that it's a bit ironic for me to say all of this because it sounds like Sunni was a surprise, but that couldn't be more opposite; she was very, very much planned. However, no one can prepare you for that second line. It's a breath-taker.

    Sunni is said to arrive on Saturday, November 28th of 2020; two days after Thanksgiving. I have a feeling she'll be here early, just based solely on how fast she's growing, but I guess when she makes her grand entrance into the world and Joey and I's life, that'll ultimately be her own decision. We cannot wait, though. The months are dragging on as we wait in such a heavy amount of anticipation-- it's hard to enjoy pregnancy just because of how ready we are to meet her. I am enjoying her little kicks, rolls, and hiccups, though. I feel grateful to have a bond that I know no one else in this world will ever get to have with her because the one we have is special. Having her life begin, grow, and develop in my very own womb is the most surreal and beautiful thing I will ever experience in this life. I am grateful for every morning and night I wake-up to her tiny, precious movements.

    I have a lot of fresh ideas for what I want this new chapter of my life to look like, there's a lot I can't wait to update my readers on as I enter back into the blogging, (and hopefully podcasting) world again. I've missed my little corner of the Internet and I can't wait to delve back into it all.

    

    I hope that despite how crazy, unusual, and scary the world is lately that you've been taking care of yourself, reader. I hope that you're safe, healthy, and well. I'll write soon.

    kati