Pregnant During a Pandemic: My Experience

     Finding out that Joey & I were pregnant on March 23rd, 2020 was the mark of something that I obviously knew at the time would be a personally significant moment to recall for the rest of our lives. However, what I wasn't expecting about this massive news was that it would be remembered as a historically momentous mark in time, as well.

    Unless you've been living under a rock, (or you're reading this in the future and have forgotten about the massive worldwide pandemic known as COVID-19 that took the world by terrifying storm at the beginning of March of 2020), you understand how much of a strange "new normal" this has come to be, as I've come to call it. What was once a very scary, very unusual, and very different halt in the flow of everyday life and the normalcy that many had come to familiarize themselves with, has slowly-but-surely over the past six months or so become adopted by every citizen as their new form of accustomed daily flow.

(Popeye & I visiting Charlottesville, VA earlier this month.

I know I'm safely outdoors & separated from people, but I always 

try to remember to take photos in my mask for Sunni to see, one day.)

    What was once known as the tried-and-true recitation of the three words: "phone, wallet, keys" before exiting the house, (which, by the way... there is a great rendition of that phrase in a song by Adam Sandler that I will happily link here), has now, because of the pandemic, tagged-on a new word to the end of the phrase, making it: "phone, wallet, keys, mask".

(Popeye & I on the way to Richmond, VA back in August.)

    The general public is socially rehearsed by now to not even think about staying six feet apart from others, wearing facial covers in public, and making a conscious effort to wash their hands as much as possible & to almost always stop by & utilize businesses' complimentary hand sanitizer stations located at most front doors. These pandemic safety habits put in place to help flatten the curve of COVID-19 cases and to help promote daily life & rather, to "keep the world turning, despite it feeling as if it's at its end" if you will, are muscle memory at this point for most people. The world doesn't stop turning just because of a pandemic, and the majority of us are doing what we can, I feel, to keep life moving safely, despite all that's taking place.

    Joey & I found out that we were pregnant on the evening of Monday, March 23rd. I shared all about our story on finding out that we were expecting in a post I shared earlier this month on the blog, "A Baby on the Way & Thoughts - My Return to Blogging".

(A photo from our official announcement to friends & family on social media back in May.)

    I can remember calling the Gynecologist the very next day to let them know about my news. I set-up an appointment with them when I was expected to be closer to eight weeks, (just based-off of my last missed period). Even though I had about three weeks until that first, initial Ultrasound appointment with the Gynecologist, I went ahead and booked a bloodwork appointment to confirm my pregnancy at my regular family practitioner. Yep, definitely pregnant.

    "Can I have your date of birth, please?", "Okay, what's your name?", "I should let you know, due to the recent outbreak of COVID-19, we are not allowing patients to have anyone else with them at their appointments. No exceptions." The latter sentence became commonplace for me to hear after what feels like endless appointments with the Gynecologist. I remember feeling shocked at how strange it would feel to not have my partner with me during at least the majority of these appointments during my pregnancy; especially since I'd always imagined it that way.

    When I was young, whenever I'd imagine my hopeful future pregnancy, I always saw a Mom, (me), the Dad, (my partner), and the Doctor in the room. What do you mean to tell me that someone would be excluded from that personally-considered essential three-person equation? I had to re-wire my expectations, put my desires of a "normal" pregnancy to the side, consider the health & well-being of society, and what the actual reality & depth of the situation was that was taking place in the world at the time of my already life-altering shift in personal existence.

    I'm glad this is my first pregnancy. I can't imagine going through a pregnancy prior to this pandemic with pre-conceived notions of how everything should be or how everything should go throughout this whole process. I'm glad that I am experiencing this pregnancy blissfully unaware, (besides from what I'm told by mom friends who've had babies before the pandemic), of how blatantly upside-down everything is when compared to pregnant life & doctor's appointments prior to COVID.

    The first three or four months of pregnancy were lived in fear. I remember I didn't leave the house for hardly anything. I was absolutely petrified of the virus and all that came along with contracting it. A lot of my pregnancy support groups on social media were consistently sharing articles that brought on nothing but sheer terror; titles that read, "Contracting COVID-19 while Pregnant & the Risks it Poses to not only You but Your Unborn Child". The lack of research done on this virus due to it not being a commonplace illness was all was horrific to deal with mentally, especially while pregnant.

    Soon, I began to see other moms posting about their labor & deliveries done solo when that wasn't the original intention. Partners, friends, or family members of these mom's forced to drop their expectant companions off at the door, and essentially wait until they receive a call to come back & pick-up.

    Other spoken cases, some moms who contracted the virus were expected to give birth to a baby that they wouldn't be able to touch until further notice-- sometimes weeks in the future.

    Moms who originally expected to rely on a partner, family member, or friend are expected to push through their labor in some cases, alone... and in some of those same cases, alone with masks. (which, as most everyone knows, labor can be hours of agonizing pain, even with pain interventions... what about the mom's who don't want interventions, but to stick to their original plan of natural, unmedicated birth? I cannot even begin to imagine the sheer discomfort of labor & delivery, alone, but to add a mandatory mask to that equation, as well? That sounds like pure misery.)

    As time went on throughout my pregnancy, reality became a little less scary. The COVID-19 virus was being studied and ultimately, better understood. Laws were written into place and carried-out for expectant moms in-terms of what COVID-19 safety protocols were implemented in the labor & delivery rooms, and certain medical practices slowly-but-surely started to execute other safety measures to allow one partner, or one family member, or a friend of choice to join for support in the Ultrasound and labor & delivery rooms.

(A photo of Sunni being monitored one scary night earlier this month. 

All ended-up being just fine. Still have to mask-up!)

    I went to appointments, (and still do), without anyone by my side unless it's an Ultrasound appointment. My Doctor's office has let-up on the safety protocols surrounding that practice, so long as it's only one other person in the room with you.

    However, it wasn't always that way. Joey wasn't allowed to go with me and see our baby until I was twenty weeks along. The Gynecologist office that we visit, up until that point, wanted to ensure the safety of all staff and limit the amount of contact as much as possible, and until twenty weeks, Joey was simply excluded from the equation of going to any doctor's appointments.

(A photo from the first Ultrasound appointment we were able

to attend together back in July; also the day we found out the gender!)

    I am, of course, always grateful that nothing devastating or hard-to-hear happened during those first 20 weeks. However, I am even more grateful for this fact because of COVID-19 and the protocols that I and the doctors, nurses, & staff had to follow for our safety, I would have had to hear devastating news alone, without anyone there to support me. My heart truly goes out to the expectant moms during this pandemic who have had to hear the gut-wrenching news that something had happened to their baby all alone in their exam rooms. I am not, (not even for a second), unaware of how blessed I am to have made it through that time of lone-ultrasounds and various appointments without hearing news such as that concerning my baby.

    I'm still currently navigating pregnancy amongst a worldwide pandemic. What I've experienced so far has taught me two important lessons: gratitude for my own health & loved ones' health, and secondly: to step out of myself and consider others. I feel so lucky to stand beside so many other expectant mothers during this time and those that have gone before us, paving the road for us in such an unknown, unprecedented time in history.

    I cannot wait to meet my baby and tell her, one day, of all that not only her father and I, but so many other people had to face during such a strange and difficult shift in what was once considered normal life.

(Sunni, at 28 weeks in Utero, giving the year of 2020 a face palm.)

    This whole pandemic thing is scary at times, hard to navigate, and is a shift in change for all of us, (pregnant or not), but we're in it together. We'll eventually come out on the other side so much more resilient & ultimately, better, because of all that we're currently having to endure.

kati