The 10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My 20-Year-Old Self

    There are so many things I wish I could have told 20-year-old Kati. "Don't allow yourself to be talked into any of those pyramid schemes even if you have some very convincing friends", "don't get five shots of espresso in that Starbucks drink-- you'll be on your literal knees praying to God that you don't die of a heart attack", or "put the scissors down-- you don't need to cut your hair just because life isn't going the way you want it to at the moment". 

    On a more serious note, I'd like to list the top ten things I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that I've learned about life since being 20, now being 23:

    1. Don't exhaust yourself trying to make sure that absolutely everyone has to like you. Rather, focus on whether or not you like yourself. 

    I think it's insanely ridiculous that I, a lot of times, catch myself in an automatic state of wondering what someone thinks of me. I worry so much about what others think of me, sometimes, that it will legitimately cause me to lose sleep at night. When I catch myself doing this, I try my best to redirect my thinking and focus heavier on what qualities I like about myself and how can I live the most authentic version of a life that suits me and only me. It's not my job to worry about how my personality, way of life, or way of doing things interests or disinterests another human being.

(artist credit: Earl Smith)

  2. Please stop trying to fast forward to the next big thing.

    Appreciate every single moment as it comes your way.. yes! Even the mundane moments of the "in-between". One day, you'll catch yourself thinking about your younger self in those moments and wish that you'd have been more present in your body, taking note of what life was trying to teach you in those moments-- (especially in those not-so-pretty moments). Learn to take note of what life is for you at the moment, who the people are that are currently in your life, where you work, (or perhaps where you don't work), even where you live... it won't always be this way.

  3. Don't ever let a failed relationship, difficult life circumstance, or even a temporary job come to an end without you acknowledging & appreciating the life lessons you were taught throughout.

    In the lyrical sentiments of the great Ariana Grande in her song, "Thank U, Next", I derive my own attitude on the idea of acknowledging that every disappointment in life can and should be viewed as a personal developmental milestone. Life is full of lessons that we are intended to grasp the meaning of on the way to becoming who we were meant to be in the next chapter.

(credit: "Thank U, Next" MV // source: Gify.com)

  4. Don't shy away from negativity, arguments, or disagreements.

    Make your disagreements known to people that you love as soon as you realize there is an issue, & strive to find common ground in-order to healthily move forward & grow. Negativity and conflict are good things when handled properly with intentions to find a healthy compromise & resolution-- this promotes healthy growth in personal and relational terms and ultimately keeps everyone progressing forward, rather than dwelling on the unspoken negativity. Strive to find resolution in what doesn't work for you; don't be afraid of conflict.

(credit: John C. Maxwell // source: QuoteFancy.com)

  5. Consistency, consistency, consistency.

    Find what makes you excited. Find what you deem worthy of your time, energy, & hard work, and stick to it. Find that perfect balance in your day-to-day life that supports the efficient and obtainable progression of these goals, so that success can be achieved. Don't be discouraged by the inescapable change in plans or time that it takes to reach these goals. Rather, focus on truly celebrating any & all small goals achieved through the hard labor of your consistent progress.

(graphic credit: Dmitri Martin's "This is a Book")

  6. NEVER. STOP. LEARNING.

    Whether that's from books, reading loads of factual articles whenever possible on all sorts of topics, listening to other peoples' knowledge, or even just binge-watching Ted Talks on Youtube during an empty afternoon. Simply never turn down the ability to know more. Acknowledge that there will always be more information & enlightenment out there in the world that you know nothing about, and make it your soul mission to learn about all that is available to you at any given moment. 

  7. Once a day, every day, do one thing that is hard or out of your comfort zone.

    Always strive to challenge yourself; to build a more resilient & strong version of yourself. Grow through those inevitably human & normal moments of self-doubt & fear. Try your best to conquer fear by pushing through & doing whatever makes you uncomfortable despite how you may feel.

(credit: "We Bought a Zoo" // source: Gify.com)

  8. Spend at least one hour a day disconnected from all electronics and spend time outdoors.

    Get some fresh air for at least one hour a day, every day. Go for a walk or a run in the neighborhood, sip your morning coffee on the porch & watch the world around you wake up for the day, take the dogs out to play; anything-- just remove any form of work or social media distractions and allow yourself to be fully immersed in nature for at least one hour a day.

  9. Let yourself truly feel your emotions. Don't bottle them up.

    Take slow, deep breaths more often as a way of hitting the mental "reset button". Cry when needed; really sob & "boo-hoo" it all out if you have to-- there is something to be said about having a good, much-needed cry.

  10. There's a difference between true rest and succumbing to laziness.

    It's important to always challenge yourself and to make sure you're in a healthy balance of work & taking care of yourself. However, there is certainly a difference between actually resting & recharging, and succumbing to fear that results in choosing to be lazy. 

    I know I have definitely dealt a lot with anxiety and the fear of the unknown in terms of making success happen. It's happened to me on more than one occasion where I allow that fear to creep in and cause me to put a halt to any & all of my progress toward achieving my goals. A great reminder put simply, yet still profoundly comes from from the amazing Banksy:

(credit: Banksy // source: Tumblr.com)

    Overall, these are definitely the things I wish I'd known earlier in life, especially when I began navigating adulthood during my college days and definitely at the start of my twenties. Although, I really do feel like these life lessons can apply to anyone at any point in their life journey.

    What are some things that you wish you could tell your younger self? I'd love to know in the comments below.

kati