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i knew a girl.

I knew a girl who moved into the house next to mine at the same time as me. She was incredibly kind, always waved with a smile behind the wheel of her favorite Chevy Tracker when she backed out of the driveway on the way to get groceries at the Food Lion down the road, and if you missed her on her porch walking to get your mail, you’d surely catch her on the way back. She loved to chat over her favorite Virginia Slim shorts, which has now become one of the most nostalgic smells in the world to me. I knew a girl who was out in the yard the day of my wedding. She was approached by a little duckling that my then-soon-to-be-husband had released into the river earlier that morning. The duckling, almost as if by fate, waddled right up to her,  and he quickly became her companion for the next six years. She named him “Duck-Duck”. She and I thought he had the same mannerisms as a dog; we thought he was so funny. I knew a girl who loved my child the instant she was told there was one growin...
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23 Years, 9 Months, & 15 Days: A Checkpoint

    When I originally started this blog, my intention was to document my 20s and all that might occur during the ten years I'll be growing through one of the most difficult, transitional learning periods of my life. 

    Here is a checkpoint for 23 Years, 9 Months, & 15 Days:

  • I'm a mom to an (almost) six-month-old. How can that be?
  • Therapy has been going exceedingly well. I still have bad days, but I feel like things are finally beginning to make sense, now, and I feel as if I'm able to move forward in my mental health healing.
  • I'm very insecure about my postpartum body, but I'm learning to love myself & appreciate what my body did and continues to do for me, regardless.
  • Still only three dogs. I hope Joey won't convince me to get any more pets at the moment.
  • Partially breastfeeding, being a stay-at-home mom, managing my daily anxiety & depression, exercising, keeping the house clean & organized, & freelance working online has been the balancing act of my life for the past six months. I can't do it all. I beat myself up about it, but I'm learning to keep pushing through the frustrations-- I think I'll figure out a way to make it all work, eventually.
  • I'm suddenly unable to comfortably digest dairy. I've been dairy-free for a week, now. I feel so much better. Oatmilk from Oat Planet is amazing; (especially in iced coffee-- just FYI).
  • These days my life is feeding this little baby, HeyBear Sensory videos on Youtube to distract Sunni while I attempt to clean portions of my house, the occasional depression naps, trying hard to take care of myself even when I want to wallow around, & writing my thoughts down in my diary to keep my sanity. It's not a very fun chapter, right now, but I'm working my way towards better days.

kati

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