Skip to main content

Featured

birthday again.

  I scrambled to write the excerpt I'm going to share down below one night in a fit of anxiety + general dread one night back in June. I get like this every June. I do this around New Year's, too.    I don't like the conception of time. I suppose it bothers me. It apparently worsens as I creep up the ladder of age. I do what I can to shift my thoughts onto anything lighter than the existential, but nonetheless: it remains.   I think I appreciate it about myself, if I'm honest. That is, if you take, "existential dread" + just shave off the "dread" portion. Annoyingly, being so chronically empirical about life can give one quite a bit of depth in perspective, I've found.   It makes moments more important. I document a lot of things because I have a fear of being forgotten, hence my love of photography & videography. I create so that I can try with everything in me to somehow let somebody know I was here on this planet, long after I'm gone. ...
Post a Comment
Read more
Labels

23 Years, 9 Months, & 15 Days: A Checkpoint

    When I originally started this blog, my intention was to document my 20s and all that might occur during the ten years I'll be growing through one of the most difficult, transitional learning periods of my life. 

    Here is a checkpoint for 23 Years, 9 Months, & 15 Days:

  • I'm a mom to an (almost) six-month-old. How can that be?
  • Therapy has been going exceedingly well. I still have bad days, but I feel like things are finally beginning to make sense, now, and I feel as if I'm able to move forward in my mental health healing.
  • I'm very insecure about my postpartum body, but I'm learning to love myself & appreciate what my body did and continues to do for me, regardless.
  • Still only three dogs. I hope Joey won't convince me to get any more pets at the moment.
  • Partially breastfeeding, being a stay-at-home mom, managing my daily anxiety & depression, exercising, keeping the house clean & organized, & freelance working online has been the balancing act of my life for the past six months. I can't do it all. I beat myself up about it, but I'm learning to keep pushing through the frustrations-- I think I'll figure out a way to make it all work, eventually.
  • I'm suddenly unable to comfortably digest dairy. I've been dairy-free for a week, now. I feel so much better. Oatmilk from Oat Planet is amazing; (especially in iced coffee-- just FYI).
  • These days my life is feeding this little baby, HeyBear Sensory videos on Youtube to distract Sunni while I attempt to clean portions of my house, the occasional depression naps, trying hard to take care of myself even when I want to wallow around, & writing my thoughts down in my diary to keep my sanity. It's not a very fun chapter, right now, but I'm working my way towards better days.

kati

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

share your thoughts with me:

Popular Posts