birthday again.
I scrambled to write the excerpt I'm going to share down below one night in a fit of anxiety + general dread one night back in June. I get like this every June. I do this around New Year's, too. I don't like the conception of time. I suppose it bothers me. It apparently worsens as I creep up the ladder of age. I do what I can to shift my thoughts onto anything lighter than the existential, but nonetheless: it remains. I think I appreciate it about myself, if I'm honest. That is, if you take, "existential dread" + just shave off the "dread" portion. Annoyingly, being so chronically empirical about life can give one quite a bit of depth in perspective, I've found. It makes moments more important. I document a lot of things because I have a fear of being forgotten, hence my love of photography & videography. I create so that I can try with everything in me to somehow let somebody know I was here on this planet, long after I'm gone. ...
